Football

Week 13 AP NFL power rankings: Eagles remain atop as a result of Jalen Hurts’ MVP performance

What a strange NFL week it’s been.

Initially, Tom Brady was heard saying things like, “back in my day,” which we have grown accustomed to hearing from older relatives over Christmas dinner. However, Alex Smith later came out and publicly buried Brady, as well as Rex Ryan, strangely enough.

Then there was the absurd Hail Mary pick-6 from the disastrous Dolphins-Jets game, which will live in infamy.

Finally, the Chiefs pulled off the most absurd move of all: they scored against the Raiders on multiple possessions in the second half.

The votes for this week included me, Stephen Serda, Nate Christensen, Dakota Watson, Matt Stagner, Maurice Elston, Jared Sapp, and Rocky Magana.

  1. First-place Philadelphia Eagles

The MVP will go to Jalen Hurts.

  1. 49ers of San Francisco (3rd)

Once again, the Thanksgiving late game lets you down.

Third place Baltimore Ravens

They play the 49ers, Dolphins, and Jaguars in their upcoming games. They are deserving of the top seed if they defeat them.

  1. Chiefs of Kansas City (4th)

Though my bet is on Justin Watson to lose that battle, I don’t blame Watson for shoving the Raiders defender in the face.

  1. 7th-place Dallas Cowboys

By no means is DaRon Bland.

Miami Dolphins, sixth place

Please just outlaw artificial turf.

  1. Jaguars of Jacksonville, eighth

For the Jaguars, that felt like a big-boy victory.

  1. Lions of Detroit (5th)

So, their Kryptonite is a decent team player?

  1. Texans from Houston (10th)

One of my all-time favorite NFL players is Tank Dell.

  1. 111th-place Buffalo Bills

Imagine having 20 seconds (plus a timeout) remaining and not being able to trust your quarterback to get the ball into field goal range.

  1. 13th-place Pittsburgh Steelers

If I could just be a fly on the wall during the coaching staff’s assessment of the play where Diontae Johnson chose to daydream, I would gladly pay a large sum of money.

The ninth-place Cleveland Browns

They have a shot as long as they have Myles Garrett.

  1. Seahawks of Seattle (12th)

yells of “one and done”

  1. Broncos of Denver (16th)

The Broncos will qualify for the postseason.

  1. 14th-place Minnesota Vikings

Interceptions were being given out by Josh Dobbs like if they were Christmas gifts. Well, at least he’s feeling festive!

  1. 19th-place Indianapolis Colts

A hilarious sight would be Gardner Minshew throughout the playoffs.

  1. The Bengals of Cincinnati (15th)

What chance do they have left for the remainder of the season if they are unable to muster enough offensive output to defeat the Steelers?

  1. 22nd-place Green Bay Packers

Jordan Love naturally finds some form right before his team plays the Chiefs.

  1. Falcons of Atlanta (25th)

The Falcons will currently host a postseason game. Please make it make sense.

Los Angeles Chargers (20.) (18th)

By the time you reach the bottom of these rankings, Brandon Staley might have been dismissed.

Los Angeles Rams (23rd) at number 21

The Rams feel like a squad that might still have an impact on the season even though they aren’t in the running for the playoffs.

  1. Saints of New Orleans (17th)

Derek Carr throws the identical pick-6 every season, I promise.

  1. 20th-place Las Vegas Raiders

I’m sorry, Amik Robertson, but the Chiefs are still superior to the Raiders.

  1. The 21st Tampa Bay Buccaneers

One more chance lost.

Tennessee Titans, rank 26.

Among the few teams that Will Levis can defeat are the Panthers.

  1. The 24th Washington Commanders

Will Jack Del Rio ever work as a coordinator again? I’m not entirely certain.

The 27th place New York Jets

Just the Jets. Will the Butt Fumble prove to be more memorable than the Hail Mary pick-6?

Chicago Bears, 28 (ninth)

The score of 12-10 sounds like it belongs in a really dull rugby union match.

Arizona Cardinals (28th) at 29.

Is Kyler the only issue, or do the Cardinals have other serious problems?

New York Giants (30th) (31st)

You can always count on the Giants to defeat the Patriots, regardless of how awful they are.

  1. Patriots of New England (30th)

It will take a lot for them to turn decent once more. Years may actually pass before they are competitive. How unfortunate!

  1. Panthers of Carolina (32nd)

Owner of a sports team, David Tepper is a horrible person.